i dont remember exactly when life got complicated, but it did. then i kinda cracked. for a while, actually. i lost everyone. for various reason, obviously. then i kinda just thought about how emotionally i couldnt handle anyone but myself. something just clicked it my head, and im not angry anymore. im not hurt. i just understand now. i miss my friends, yes. but there are chapters in books for reasons. just because a chapter in your life ends, doesnt mean the the book is over. some of my favorite quotes may be from that book, but im having trouble not turning the pages way too quickly. im too eager to see what happens. honestly, i never got what any of them were saying, when they gave me reasons of why they were leaving. i threw a big defense up, and acted like i wasnt phased. but i was. but im not anymore. my life at this moment feels like a plane taking off. i finally understand so much more about just simple, evrday life. being completely on my on forced me to move on and find healthier options for every aspect of my life. i guess this is what its like to be happy.
so right now i get to teach people guitar, i found a talent that i never knew existed, i have a sweet boy, im smiling more than i ever have, i go to the most amazing college, im making good grades, im making soooo many new friends, i joined a kickass marijuana legalization club for school, and i feel happy and at home. i guess ive finally found what ive been looking for, for a while now.
shit, sue was right. hahaha
if anybody reads this that thinks i have a problem with them/has a problem with me:
im sorry i was so ignorant.